In the Wilderness

Our pastor touched on having wildernesses throughout our lives. I’ve had quite a few. Sometimes it’s my personal wilderness and other times I’m on the outside looking in while someone I love goes through their own.

My first major wilderness was when my first husband died. We were living 1100 miles from family when he contracted bacterial meningitis. Our son was 11 years old and hubby died a few days later. I was lost but had a young son to raise. By not feeling the grief (to protect my son), I fell into depression and anger which lasted 17 years. I finally had to reach out for serious help because I gave up on life. Things turned around a few months later and I was happy again for the first time in many years.

Other trials were when my Pop died after being sick for two years but with no diagnosis until near the end of his life. A few months later, my then boyfriend told me he had cancer. He’s now six years cancer free.

Currently, several family members are sick. Two siblings are ill and both are easily treatable. My young niece is going through her own wilderness with her health as is her entire family. Hubby has been in chronic pain for a year. I am “run down”.

Life is never easy. The thing with wildernesses is they are finite. This too shall pass…maybe like a kidney stone, but it will pass. (I’ve not found an author to credit for this).

I am a woman of faith, yet all these things happening so close together sure test that faith. It reminds me God is still in control and that I never was. If life was easy, I would probably always rely on my own strength.

Wildernesses will come and go, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Reach out to someone you trust. If you believe in prayer, pray and have others pray for you. In my experiences throughout my many years of life, I find there’s always sunshine just around the corner. Always.

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