Day two.

Yesterday afternoon was the worst day for us in this MS journey. The left leg was doing its usual thing. All hubby could do was drag it. Wouldn’t you just know the right leg was nearly completely useless also. I had to sit him on the rollator and push him to bed. He barely got on the bed. I lifted that left leg onto the bed and did my best to get him situated so he’d be comfortable.

I was so hopeful that today would be better. It was barely better. I asked if he was okay for me to leave him to mow his Mom’s lawn which was very high. He said he was fine. I got home close to two hours later. He napped while I was gone. I helped him sit upright on the couch. He has absolutely no strength. None. Is this because of the humidity? I don’t know. I know heat and humidity can be a curse to those with MS. We have to get the lumbar puncture so we know what’s going on for sure and get a proper treatment.

He wants to cry but doesn’t. I do too. I can’t fix him. I pray and have others praying. I know God sometimes waits and there’s a reason for it. He feels so helpless because he can’t help me. He feels helpless because his body won’t listen to the signals from his brain. He looked at his left leg a few days ago and commanded it to lift. It did nothing. The signal was broken. I had to move his leg.

Please, Lord, I am begging. You told him you would help him. I’m not the most patient person in the world and never have been. It’s been two years and he’s getting worse.

Tomorrow I will call neuro about why the lumbar puncture has yet to be scheduled. If hubby gets mad, so be it. We’ll figure out how to get him in the car from the house, into the doctor’s office, insist someone there help get him back into the car for the hour drive back and arrange for someone, maybe his son who lives near where the procedure would take place, to help me get him out of the car and into the house so he can go to the restroom and lay flat on the bed for a while.

Please, Lord. Please.

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