Getting Murphied Again

Today was the day for a couple of quick errands. I drove my low mileage 2010 car down the North Road and was a block from my first destination when the car started losing power and the yellow wrench light came on. Luckily, the light ahead was turning red and the car restarted. I finished chore number one and then continued on to my next destination. There were no further problems.

Here’s the thing: hubby has a lumbar puncture Tuesday. The neurologist does these at his office one hour away. He does not do them at the much closer office, nor does he do them at the hospital where he admitted my husband in late September. That would have been too convenient considering hubby can barely walk and we do not have a handicap ramp at home. We manage with God’s help to get hubby in and out of the house safely.

Hubby’s sister and brother-in-law both have vehicles that are too high for hubby to get into. His youngest sister lives farther away, but she and her husband will drop off their spare car for us to use. It’s such a blessing. Hubby and I were both misty eyed.

I’ve dealt with a lot during this pandemic. I’ve done most of the work here for the past two years. Hubby can still dress and feed himself. He cannot walk without a rollator. I do the rest. I also had to deal with mice, thankfully just two. There have been leaks in the cellar, a dead car battery, juggling doctor appointments, nurse visits and home PT appointments. I’m exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I haven’t had a haircut since February. I haven’t seen my family in more than two years. Hubby hasn’t been to his Mom’s house in 13 months.

I’m not in the spirit for Christmas. I do realize the real meaning of Christmas. Church is viewed online. With registration I could drive to the barn by the church and listen to the live service via FM radio in my car. The thought of putting up the tree alone for the third straight year is not something I look forward to. Christmas will be virtual, though I may bring his Mom here so she can see her grandkids on the television and talk to them.

I’m having a pity party. I’m not the one who can’t walk. I’m not the one who without the ability to touch. I don’t have to depend on my spouse to do nearly everything for me. I do have the brain fog because my brain is tired.

I pray we have a diagnosis in the next couple of weeks so we can move forward. I just need Murphy to leave us alone so we can deal with one crisis at a time. I just want to cry.

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