Feeling Lost

I’m exhausted. I realize I say that way too often.

Hubby notices the exhaustion. He worries. It’s not depression. Not yet.

Tomorrow I’ll have two patients for a short time until his Mom can regain her sight and safely return home. My sister-in-law and I take turns. Both our husbands are disabled.

Toileting and the neverending cleanup is the new thing. He no longer feels safe transferring into our car so we have to work around transportation. Getting DME is hopeless unless we drive 75 miles one way. Oh yeah… transportation issues.

What is his life expectancy at this point? He’s been in a wheelchair for more than a year. He was diagnosed at age 68 just over a year ago.

I’m scared. I don’t want to lose him. He’s my first love. We met in 1976 and reconnected in 2009. At this point we’ve been married less than six years.

Yep. I’m exhausted and scared.

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