Being Thankful in the Midst of Uncertainty

Hubby and I were married in 2016, 40 years after we first met. He was my first love, but long distance dating was very challenging without internet and free long distance. We relied on the occasional call and letters. It ended after six months.

In late 2018 he began experiencing symptoms that could have easily been passed off as “old age”. He had knee pain and back pain. We had cleaned three sheds at his Mom’s house, cleaned our shed and he fixed the lawn tractor. His doctor could not find a reason for the back pain which was his main complaint. He doesn’t complain about pain often. Doc knew this. Doc had a light bulb moment and asked Hubby to walk for him. He was dragging his left foot. Doc immediately ordered a brain MRI and a consult with an MS neurologist. This began our MS journey.

He’s progressed from using a cane to using a wheeled walker, then a manual wheelchair (borrowed) to now a power wheelchair which gets him most places he needs to go. We recently bought a 2008 wheelchair van to get him to appointments and out into the real world for the pure joy of getting out of the house. We’ve been to a parade, his Mom’s house, church with breakfast out afterward and just tooling around.

My first husband died just before his 41st birthday. Our son was 11 years old. I vowed to never date again. After 17 years, my son mentioned Facebook. I didn’t even know what it was. I joined and eventually came across Hubby. We again dated long distance and I flew up a few months later to see if this was real or merely fond memories. It was real. As he took me to the airport, he had tears in his eyes and said, “I love you. I do.” I cried most of the flight home.

We have now been married six years. MS throws us a curve ball some days. The heat makes things worse. He has brain fog nearly every single day. I thank God he has his mind. He’s somewhat stable and is doing well on his DMT. His neurologist was very pleased with his test results (no change in lesions) and that he has signals in his left leg (the one he’s unable to move). We’re thankful for what we have. Do I get grumpy? Yes. Does he? Oh, mercy, yes. Each day is a gift. We must remain mindful of that.

I say this as my Uncle John is seriously ill. He’s 86 and Mom’s youngest surviving brother. I live so far away. Traveling that far is something we’ve not yet tried.

One day at a time.

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