Feeling Down

I should be happy. My sister came through an unexpected surgery today for another post cancer complication. Hubby’s birthday was yesterday and we had a visit today from his little grandson. His daughter brought a small cake.

After the visit Hubby was down probably because he had to hold onto the wall as he went to the bathroom. We have two more weeks before his neuro appointment. He doesn’t want more tests. He just wants to walk. He doesn’t want a more sturdy cane or walker unless he has no other option.

This hurts me. I can’t help my husband. I wasn’t there for my sister. I miss my family. I pray daily. It’s been two years of no answers. I’m not a patient person so by now I should be on my way to sainthood.

I see the doctor Monday. Everything will probably just spill out.

I just feel helpless. I should be happy.

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